Sunday, May 24, 2015

Write or not to right......

I mentioned in my last post about my writings. I have heard is said many times in the church how important it is to journal what is going on in our lives as a part of our history, to add to our family history. I've heard it encouraged in the counseling world, (my counselor included) how beneficial writing can be. Perhaps it is the ability to slow the mind down enough to put what you are thinking or feeling into words. Maybe it is the meditation that at times can accompany writing, many times with the spirit. Perhaps it is seeing the words that have come from your mind, coming out on paper, only to be read to go full circle into your mind again. I know many who see it as beneficial, an outlet in which to vent, or to organize what is going on with the turmoil inside.
Me? Not so much.....

I'm not very good at slowing my mind down or being able to come up with a complete cognitive thought, but it all comes down to the writing. Writing (for me) is usually seen as another way that ED attacks something for which can never be "good enough." He is constantly in my head belittling what I have to say, critiquing every little word, phrase, my grammar......often demanding a reason to why I am writing in the first place. Although I do have to tell him that no on may ever read what ever it is that I may write, he ignores that as meaningless and continues with the barrage of his two cents. The fact that I have a blog, that I post and at last count, have had over 1500 views is beyond comprehension. It'll be amazing if this post is kept and published to the blog. Maybe it is because of him that I don't write more often. It might be because of him that I feel the need to apologize to all who read this as I accept the fact that it probably not "good enough," that there are so many things that are not right, or correct or whatever whatever whatever.....(ED could go on forever!)


At least in writing and blogging, I try to take comfort in the fact that if readers don't really want to read what is shared, they don't have to. I don't know who does or doesn't read. There isn't really anything to be taken to personally as an attack of not having done anything "good enough." It becomes more problematic when it carries over into the interactions of life.....but I will save that for another post.
Please consider the idea that menial things, that you may never think twice about.....others struggle, doubt, wrestle with, and torment over.......whether they be wright, write, or right......

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I may not always comment, but I am reading. And I will continue to do so! What you write has worth. What you experience, others need help with. Every blog out there dealing with addiction (whether by addicts or their spouses) shows us that we are not alone. It decreases the isolation, & that has infinite worth. Especially when they focus on hope and healing as yours does.
Thank you.

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