The Recovery Position: Homework

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Homework

During the holidays and working nights as a nurse, it becomes challenging to meet with my therapist. In turn, I email him. The idea is to do it daily.....points of positivity. He also accepts gratitudes as well because sometimes I am unable to separate them.

My apologies in missing a few days. I'm still trying to figure out how to best accommodate for working nights.

1) I'm grateful for the sleep I do get & doing a little better with getting up & doing things in the hours in the middle of the night when I'm unable to sleep.

2)This is going to sound petty, but I got my first FB friend request from a co-worker on Labor & Delivery. It's taken 3 months. That meant so much to me......I can't even explain!!!

3)I went out to lunch today with a friend. Afterwards, I had the urge to purge.... (SO INTENSELY) but I came home and took a nap instead. Hopefully being avoidant isn't all bad.

4) I'm grateful to have a vehicle with all wheel drive this winter. The payments are overwhelming.... but buying something with a forclosure in my credit has left me in a tough spot.

Thank You

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My name is Imperfection.....

About me: I am the single mom of three energetic kids. I tell myself that I am doing the best, where I am, with what I have....although I struggle to even believe that. I have an ED, an eating disorder, been diagnosed with atelophobia (the fear of imperfection), and alexithymia (the sub-clinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self). I am working (present tense) on figuring out how the Atonement applies to me, working on being obedient to the nudges I get from the Spirit to share my story and experiences in hopes that from sharing perspective, we may all grow together in our testimonies and our knowledge of being in the recovery position.

The Principle of ED.....

ED is an acronym used for the term 'Eating Disorders.' It is also a name given to the relentless voice inside that says I need to run faster, jump higher, climb more, be thinner, that the numbers should be smaller (on the scale and on that tag that labels my jeans)....the voice that encourages the lie that there is no 'Good Enough.' He is what pushes the need to restrict and purge. I have given ED his own personality traits in an effort to separate that thought process as separate from mine. I joke with my therapist that Satan and ED are brothers, although there may be more truth to that than I know.

The Premise behind "The Recovery Position"

"The Recovery Position" is typically a term refered to in the medical field for a position someone is put into after a tramatic physical event. It is encouraged that one be laid on their left side, their arms close beside them with the right knee bent so as to be towards the chest.

It is meant for the person to be in a position for healing, for self-preservation, for recovery...

This blog is an outlet from one who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (The Mormons) and has been an addict of sorts, with the belief that we are all addicted to something. Alcohol, drugs (medication or recreational), pornography, sexual addiction, gambling, gaming, time online, shopping/overspending may be just a few examples that may cry for a time of sobriety. While abstinence from these addictions may define sobriety, my addictive behavior is overcome by partaking. I have an eating disorder.