Homework 11-29-17

Because I'm feeling as though I should share with you some homework I've been assigned. During the holidays and working nights as a nurse, it becomes challenging to meet with my therapist. In turn, I email him. The idea is to do it daily.....points of positivity. He also accepts gratitudes as well because sometimes I am unable to separate them. 

As I respond to your text please note that this is a massive acting opposite event. Not that I'm trying to ignore you, but answering today is challenging. 

Thanksgiving was alright. It was mostly superficial which was just fine with me. My mom continues to undermine what she would have me do. I got to leave at a decent time because I was scheduled to work that night. I ended up being put on call. The days after have been challenging because my clothes feel tighter. The scale is the same but I feel my clothes are tighter which makes my anxiety increase. It makes me feel as though I need to do something drastic quickly. I succumbed to my sister-in-law and signed up under my mom in the pyramid scheme which is Plexus Slim. A weight loss product and supplements that are meant to benefit probiotics in the digestive system but for which the name explains is meant to be for weight loss. I've been struggling with how to take that....knowing that my sister-in-law knows very well my history that it's Thanksgiving holiday season, that my clothes feel tighter and that I do feel like I need to do something drastic. 

Then and contrast that with when I went to work Monday night and saw a fascinating display between two sisters helping another sister who was going through labor pains of having natural childbirth.  It was truly one of the most exemplary things I have ever been blessed to witness. They commended their wonderful angel-like mother for teaching them so well and I was sincerely touched with the Christ-like love that they showed towards each other. I wish(ed) so desperately to be a part of that level of loving sisterhood. To see the look of love and concern on one sisters face or how willing another sister was, is something I hope I remember forever!!!

And then I drove home from work from which Ed ripped me up one side and down the other In the comparison of the two. I was extremely distraught and texted her friend to help me try to calm down before I tried to go to sleep. Looking back now I understand that my emotions are a little more intense than normal cuz I haven't been able to sleep more than 3 to 4 hours at a time for the last couple of days. I would much rather belong to the group of sisters who are lovingly trying to help each other through a life-changing event rather than be pegged for one because of looks and insecurities and an easy financial opportunity. 

Thank you for texting me this morning. Knowing that I'm thought of & cared about, means more than I can adequately express! 

I hope you have a great week! 

Me