Now in contrast......another group of patients I hold a special place in my heart for. They are those who come in with chest pain, that seems to radiate down their left arm, goes thru to their back, they are feeling a little nauseated and exerting themselves seems to make it worse. In some cases, this has been going on for days. Of course I shake my head slightly because those are pretty classic signs of a heart attack, something where immediate treatment at an ER is required. But they remain in the room, rationalizing to themselves and to me, that they are "not that bad" or "not that sick," that if they could just get something for their heartburn, they would be just fine.
Despite additional encouragement and on occasion, the threat of an ambulance to come and help them get where they need to go, some remain......shocked, surprised, even dumbfounded that I have suggested such a thing. Again, they are convinced that "its not that bad." Some are fearful that if they were to follow up in an ER and everything turned out to be normal, that others (probably of whom, don't even know them) would look down upon them or think less of them. Not many consider the other side of that coin, what would happen if it was serious and neglected.
As I've thought about it, I've almost concluded that it might be our human, fallible nature. If there is a simple fix, why not do that? If the answer is that taking antibiotics for a week or two will cure it....Why not!?! However, if its necessary to do more, work harder, (like cut out saturated fats and include aerobic exercise) we are simply less likely to do it. Or perhaps showing our vulnerability will keep us from doing the right thing or the more healthy thing like showing up to an ER and say the words, "Chest Pain"......
That being said, let me share some definitions according to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary.
lapse
noun \ˈlaps\
: an occurrence in which you fail to think or act in the usual or proper way for a brief time and make a mistake
relapse
noun \ri-ˈlaps, ˈrē-ˌ\
: the return of an illness after a period of improvement
I would be willing to define lapse to myself as an honest mistake and forget to take my son to scouts or to accidentally take a wrong turn on my way grocery shopping. It is for a brief time.
Now can I tell you what I LOVE about the definition of relapse. I don't like the term 'relapse' in and of itself, but I so appreciate how it says "return of an illness". That exactly what addiction is. It is an illness, it is a disease. I remember commenting to others of a period of 'remission' from my disorder. It would then only make sense, that when ED roars his putrid head, I slip, I stumble and because of this fallen state.....I fall. I usually land on my knees, pleading by means of Jesus Christ, who made it possible for me to have 'remission' from sin when I was baptized. It is also possible every Sunday when those covenants are renewed.
So in my own vulnerability and being reluctant, I admit I am in relapse. I am experiencing a "return of an illness." Unfortunately, this one cannot be taken care of with antibiotics. Its remedy is not found in a pill or injection. It is found (like for most all addictions) in overcoming the natural and fallen man, and getting back up. It is found in a "broken heart and contrite spirit" (3rd Nephi 9:20) It is found in him who "is mighty to save" (Mark 6:5)
Now I share this in hopes of others who may be close to where I am, perhaps reasoning that "its not that bad" or that you can "stop anytime I want"....... I smile, only because I feel the spirit nudge me with the sense of:
"Spoken like a true addict."
So now its my turn to quit being the nurse, time to work as a patient. Time for me to listen to those who can see better than I, those who have knowledge and training in how to work thru what I need to work thru.
Please join me on my journey and my fight to 'remission.'
I would be willing to define lapse to myself as an honest mistake and forget to take my son to scouts or to accidentally take a wrong turn on my way grocery shopping. It is for a brief time.
Now can I tell you what I LOVE about the definition of relapse. I don't like the term 'relapse' in and of itself, but I so appreciate how it says "return of an illness". That exactly what addiction is. It is an illness, it is a disease. I remember commenting to others of a period of 'remission' from my disorder. It would then only make sense, that when ED roars his putrid head, I slip, I stumble and because of this fallen state.....I fall. I usually land on my knees, pleading by means of Jesus Christ, who made it possible for me to have 'remission' from sin when I was baptized. It is also possible every Sunday when those covenants are renewed.
So in my own vulnerability and being reluctant, I admit I am in relapse. I am experiencing a "return of an illness." Unfortunately, this one cannot be taken care of with antibiotics. Its remedy is not found in a pill or injection. It is found (like for most all addictions) in overcoming the natural and fallen man, and getting back up. It is found in a "broken heart and contrite spirit" (3rd Nephi 9:20) It is found in him who "is mighty to save" (Mark 6:5)
Now I share this in hopes of others who may be close to where I am, perhaps reasoning that "its not that bad" or that you can "stop anytime I want"....... I smile, only because I feel the spirit nudge me with the sense of:
"Spoken like a true addict."
So now its my turn to quit being the nurse, time to work as a patient. Time for me to listen to those who can see better than I, those who have knowledge and training in how to work thru what I need to work thru.
Please join me on my journey and my fight to 'remission.'
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