Truth.

The only time in my life that I wrote daily was while I was on my mission. That was quite a while ago. I've thought of doing that again, not really as a method of record keeping but perhaps more of an outlet for me to share my story and for me to learn what recovery means to me. Whether I will really do this daily or not remains to be seen. Even I'm interested to see where that may lead.
Tonight it is raining. A gentle pouring to wash away what was today. By no means did I accomplish anything I wanted to today. On the epic list of  "To Do's," I would hope that it may be said that I did what was most important vs. what was most urgent.
I took my daughter to the Women's Broadcast. She seemed to enjoy it. While there where many well rehearsed things that were said, the most touching parts for me, came from the music. The opening song was Hymn #264 "Hark, All Ye Nations!" The line that struck me (although I've heard this song a bazillion times before) was just before the chorus in the first verse, "Truth is restored again!"
I'm sure its no coincidence that in the closing song, Hymn #243, "Let Us All Press On," the last line in the third verse also points to the same concept as it closes, "And prosper the cause of truth."
It is about the principle of truth. The principle by which my therapist tirelessly tries to lead me back to only because it is a faulty, unstable foundation that my belief system is held one. The same unstable cracking foundation (that I'm guessing) most all addictive behavior stems from. My therapist call them F.I.S.H.......Faulty Information Still Honored. Those things, no matter how illogical or flat our untrue that for what ever reason, we still hold them in such high regard that we have built our foundations upon them. If you've spent much time in primary, you know what happens to the many who builds his house upon the sand, and what happens to the man who builds his house upon the rock. I have a feeling that his rock was our Savior, Jesus Christ. I have a feeling that rocks only stay solid upon principles of truth.

Finding my voice.

Here I am.....again.....still. I have now been home from rehab just over two years. I did make one of those crazy promises to Heavenly Father as I left, that if I promised not to purge anymore, that perhaps he would give me a voice. Of course, I was thinking of a voice meaning the singing kind. It was while I was in treatment that I would sing on occasion and for the first time ever in my life I got  complimented on my voice. How wonderful that would be to have the empowering gift of music.
While I've been home and more than once the thought has struck me that perhaps it wasn't the gift of music kinda voice that I could share, but perhaps sharing a story that other might could relate to by which the could be empowered. Now I search for the strength and the courage to share, hopefully even day to day what the battles are like that I hope in time will win the war.
I write under the cover of anonymity by which I hope will encourage me to be that much more open and that much more honest with what I share, so as to not lay out potholes to what is already a dangerous and treacherous road. I will allow for comments although this blog may not be well known for a while so I guess I'm not too worried about what you may have to say now anyhow.

Thank You for joining me on this journey.