The Addiction Parable.....

Allow me to begin this post by explaining that I cannot take any credit for the content of this post. So much of this comes from my therapist and I want to make sure credit is given where it is due. His name is Bob and I have known him for years. He is excellent at what he does, prompted by the spirit, able to quote scripture and conference talks, challenges irrational thinking, repeats teaching things he has taught hundreds of times before, and is steadfast and immovable. I call him an eternal optimist. I only wish everyone could have such a positive influence in their corner.

He is amazing at parables. Bob has a gift to share a twist on perspective by the parables/stories he tells. They are realistic, down to earth and very relatable. It is with his permission that I share 'The Addiction Parable.'

It was a couple of months ago that I walked into his office and made myself at home like I usually do. I began by giving a report of where I was, the progress (or in this case.......regress) that I made. He shook his head knowingly. This is not the first relapse I've tried to navigate. His name is Bob and he is a master addictions counselor. He knows, perhaps more than any other, the foundational irrational thought process from which addictions form and persist.

He asks if I've ever been water skiing before. I nod my head and reply with a half-hearted laugh that I've made the attempt. He continues by reminding me that water skiing is made of 3 separate steps. The first part is about being IN the water. You ensure your life jacket is on tightly. You put the ski's on. You grab the rope. All the while, you are IN the water.
The third part is about being UP ON the water. It is the feeling of success. It is where you can gain more skill and talent. It is knowing that you figured out what it takes for you to be UP ON the water.
Then he pauses for a moment.......and backs up.
The second part is when you've signaled for the driver of the boat to go for it. You are holding onto the rope for dear life, being drug thru water that is as thick as cement, trying not to drown let alone swallow (or inhale) any of the water, trying to force your legs up to be on top of the cement..........all while trying to breathe.

Another pause.......before the ensuing explanation and discussion of each of the three steps. The third step is a given. That is what recovery is like. There is a sense of satisfaction, the practice it takes to get there, the skill it takes to stay there, and the sheer knowledge that you did it. The first step is being fully engulfed IN the addiction, actively participating IN the behavior. It is a step of treading water to try to maintain survival. The longer your in the water, the more tired you become. If you do not have a life jacket (or support system) your resources and be spent quickly.
The second step is the war. It is doing what it takes to stick with it and hold on. Doing what it takes includes going to my therapist and dietitian. It includes touching base with my accountability team and being honest to them. It includes working the steps and trusting in the process. It is reaching out asking for help as needed as opposed to falling into the trap of withdrawal and isolation, in which secrets and sickness persist.

This parable rung true to me. It made perfect sense. I share it with you in hopes that you may in turn, share it with others. I really hope it can be used as a tool to help those who do not have much experience with addictions or addictive behaviors, be able to have a different perspective to see (in a small glimpse) what the battles are like.



Thank You for reading.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Recovery-Position/537177216405518

Tender Mercies

This last week, amongst the chaos this week was, I took my daughter to get a violin because she has expressed an interest in orchestra. As I opportunity I had to do this with her, it struck a memory for me.

Please allow me to share with you.

A couple of weeks ago, I took my kids to Salt Lake City for our traditional 'hoopla' back to school trip. It is tradition for us to take care of some business and include back to school shopping as well as play as much and as hard as we can as a celebratory "ITS BEEN GREAT!" farewell to summer.
This time was no different.

We were able to attend the Ogden Temple open house, to marvel and feel the spirit of another House of the Lord before its dedication. More than anything, I was struck with the artwork that now resides there. I was not lucky enough to get the details about it I was hoping for, but I pray that it will be shown to me sooner than later.
We spent time across the street at the Treehouse Children's Museum. The kids had a great time with that.
Of course there was more shopping than I'd like to admit, but we did get it all done. It is amazing that something I save so long for can be gone in a matter of hours.
Because we ended up staying on a Sunday, we were privileged to attend "Music & the Spoken Word" in the Conference Center. I have heard the tabernacle choir many times on CD or mp3 player, but those touching renditions pale in comparison to the experience of listening to them in person. It was our first time attending "Music & the Spoken Word" and we thoroughly enjoyed it. On the particular day we attended, the orchestra was also there and playing. My daughter would later tell me that it was this experience where she gained a desire to be part of an orchestra, and that she wanted to play the violin. We walked around temple square some, even going inside the tabernacle as I tried to explain to my children that 'Once upon a time, before the conference center was........the tabernacle was the only place to hold General Conference'.  I'm not sure they fully understood, but they wanted me to share their most favorite story about the tabernacle, so I did my best.
We then proceeded to the South Visitors Center. As we walked in, on a large screen they were playing various "I am a Mormon" clips. I'm sure they do that frequently, but the one they were playing the moment we walked in, stopped me in my tracks.

Perhaps it was the part where Lindsey talks about her core beliefs about having worth because she is a daughter of God.......that struck me more than anything else we did on that trip.
I've heard it said that a coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous, but the timing that this particular clip at the very moment I walked in was more than a coincidence......This was a tender mercy. (Did you notice she's playing a violin?)

Thank You Lindsey Sterling! You have two new fans in our household! !